a new beginning

i like endings because as sure as rainbows follow rain, a beginning is just around the corner. i'm one of those crazy women who loves a new calendar. the crisp, white paper screaming for me to deface its surface, with highlighters and off-the-wall colored inks, to make lists and appointments, followed by fruitful mark throughs and completed to do's. here lives proof i made a goal and its success [or failure, in come cases] is in black and white.

it's the last day of 2013 on mayne mill and the heavens are a little cloudy and i'm beginning taxes and finishing laundry. oh, the envy i sense in your eyes. i'm recalling a few of those lists and goals during the year that was and all of the good things that happened, the adventures taken that were not even anticipated this time last year, the children who broke my heart for the millionth time and those who stopped me in my tracks with utter amazement, friends who came and went and those who reappeared when my heart needed them the most. there were journeys to places i had only heard about from others and now, i stood on the same island where wild horses roamed, the same bridge where forest gump crossed, the same doorway through which a governor traveled each night. quite spectacular for this old coot.

remembering is a powerful tool, one that should be used for good. to learn. to change what went wrong. to build upon went right.  however, don't let the past interfere with the present, i tell my children, for if we let it, it most certainly will take over today. i  teach them that it is important to revisit the past for only one reason, as a reminder of what will happen if our actions never change. if we allow people to run over our emotions and thoughts, then they will. if we put ourselves in precarious situations, more than likely, we will fall. if we fail to use common sense, well, we deserve what we will eventually get. if we don't put ourselves first, no one else will. those are some fairly simple certainty's that took me a half a century to nail down. in the course of a year, i tend to forget them. but on this day, when all is said and done, i reflect and remember, and most of the time, i kick myself in the butt for not listening to myself. i like to blame it on menopause.

i look forward to a new year. i predict 2014 will be good.  i'll share just a bit of my calendar ink with you:

• i will bite my tongue - harder, longer, and more often.
• i will go twice as many places on twice as many wheels as in 2013.
• i will not compromise and i will not lay down.
• i won't care what you think or why you think it [southern guilt - that's another diary, another time!]
• i'll push the envelope again [parasailing and ziplining]!
• i'll stick my neck out and catch my breath later.
• i'll figure out a way to hold my grand-daughter this year while she can fit in the crook of my arm [a big please on this one].

i can feel a beginning on its way.  i guess whatever kind of beginning is up to me. happy 2014 and here's to all the full calendars and fruitful mark throughs. 

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