a wedding day

the bride and groom and friend, jack.

my step-son is getting married today.

most days with this event penciled on the calender summons parties and gifts, generous offerings of congratulations and hopeful promises for a long and healthy future together. a day which lies at the end of a multitude of months full of incessant planning and soul-searching for the perfect dress, the perfect flower, the perfect location - all of which those of us who are married knows does not exist anywhere except in the bride's mind. and that's okay, too, for everyone deserves that unicorn-fairy-tale-love-so-much-it-hurts moment.

from what we've been told, it hasn't been months in the making, but a few weeks, but nevertheless, an adventure that is all-consuming. there's not much i know of the bride, only her name and her profession. not sure how long she has known the boy, but it's never long enough. although by sheer convention, i should know much more about the groom, but i do not. and that is why this day starts with queries rather than stretches of exaltation.

when you have children, you never expect to the be on the sidelines, looking on as other characters engage in the moment at hand. you expect to be in the heat of it all, raising glasses, offering hugs . . . receiving hugs. all those milestones that your parents experienced with you - first dates, graduation, first car, first job, marriage, birth of children - they told you they couldn't wait for you to experience the same. you agreed as if this romantic succession of episodes would be your fate as well. consequently, these illusions were made even more remote by mistakes, free-will and just damn stubbornness and human nature.

do we continue to stand on the sidelines?  sometimes, you have to, but that doesn't decrease the amount of love or pride or hopefulness that all parents have for their children on special days like today. no matter if time or distance has been the winner, you never turn loose of the quest to be a part of their lives. they have no clue that every single day that we breathe, they are part of our lives.

we wish joy and prosperity, and all those things you hear as glasses are clinked at receptions around the globe. although we won't get the opportunity to declare our dreams for you, we share them here. know that as each day passes, we'll be praying that your fairy-tale includes white horses and castles. as it should be.

and our hope lives on that, somewhere in the world - in texas, in australia, in jersey, and even upstairs - that they will grasp the importance of including us in celebrations that are, in reality, all about them. it's a joy - and regrettably, a sorrow -  that they really won't grasp until they have their own little ones - who poop, laugh, run, jump, scoff, fight and leave.

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